Don’t worry, be… Nice?
We’re always banging on about ‘Making [Your] Reality Great’ but what do we mean, how can you test the theory? If you’re a bit lost on a simple way to start perhaps try our short experiment.
Make Reality Great: It’s a strap line that genuinely came from one of those slightly pompous brain storming sessions. We had for a good long time, been ‘The Mighty Ray Gun’. As often happens an acronym was born, MRG, after all it’s a bit of a mouthful, especially when your shouting it from the side lines at bike races, and so MRG proved much more sustainable. (Many dedicated MRG’ers often struggle with joined up letters and multi syllable words so we were all for simplification for their sakes…) So after the destructive disappearance of the leader of our tribe (we still can’t help but wonder if he would have rather approved of his completely shocking sudden departure from this life, he was nothing if not spontaneous.) we wondered what else those three letters might stand for. ‘Morality, Reality, Gravity’ was with us for a while but gravity isn’t really optional, and morality seems sadly, in the most part to be to be a matter of perspective.
So a proper white board and marker session happened. Buzan charts, marker pens, domain name searches, squishy stress balls…. And we completely failed to invent anything. We were too busy having a good time laughing, joking and drawing slightly inappropriate cartoons on the board (millions of years of evolution and your modern man still finds a good belly laugh at the average cartoon nob). We laughed, we drew some characters (read nob), we consumed another simply sickening amount of coffee and then, following this mirth we went to say our good byes. It was as we said good bye to close friends that we realised what we wanted was for them to be happy. To meet their goals, for them to be satisfied and well. For them to smile. We’d laughed and responded to stories of them telling us of things that had made them happy. We realised that regardless of how tough the world for each of us may be, at certain times a glimmer of happiness had the power to destroy a bucket load of sad. We also realised that their positivity, however small was infectious. I make you a bit happier and get a return ricochet of happy back.
So there it was, a recipe. ‘Make Reality Great’. Improve each and everyday buy looking for those glimmers of happy. Better yet help others recognise the glimmers or even be one! I’ll offer you a suggestion, an exercise if you will, for you to test the theory. Choose one day this week and make a conscious choice to simply be nice. To appear to care. When you pay a cashier take time (fractions of a second) to say hello as well as good bye. To say thanks. If you can maybe even find a way to offer a small compliment. When you make a call to a business number take time to thank them as you go for their help, don’t just have a nameless conversation, take a name to use it with respect. Make a point of actually acknowledging the person who lets you out in traffic. If you’re riding take time to say hi to others on trail. Just make space in your moment to be interested in theirs.
I’m willing to bet that the effects will be extensive. You will feel better about your self throughout the day. It’s a clinical fact. Positive responses or goal achievements however small generate Dopamine, the feeling of group inclusion and acceptance helps the production of Serotonin, and best of all laughter can kick start the production of endorphins. This little chemical cocktail is proven to make you feel good. It’s even linked to increased success, and performance. You’ll also find that you get more support. More offers of help, better deals, better invitations, all of which add up to a feeling of success, again cue the endorphins….
As you progress you can add new self challenges. Why not challenge yourself to learn the names of 5 random people with whom you interact across the day. Interactions that you could have completed with no exchange of names? No, before you ask name badges don’t count. I’ll bet across those five you learn something or start a relationship that results in a positive benefit in your life however small. We often covet the success of wealthy or high achieving individuals and after years of working with and around just this type of persons I can tell you that they very often excel in the art of communication and building rapport. It’s not actually a difficult thing to do. You just have to actually do it.
You see we have so many methods to communicate now that we don’t actually communicate much at all. It’s sad to say but you will interact and share information with lots of people with in week that you never make eye contact with. By actively talking to the people you meet you will, with no artificial stimulus feel more positive. Positivity is energising. Increased energy levels result in more subconscious effort applied to any and all activities. More energy in results in more productivity. You will literally smile, chat and compliment your way to faster climbing, swimming, running and all the while you’ll experience better service and attention.
We all often make comments like ‘it’s not hard to say thanks’ or ‘be nice’ but they are often throw-away remarks. As with any new training method you need to factor it into your day. Plan it. Pay attention to the ingredients, smile, tone, timbre. It will improve your day and as you practice you’ll get better at it and the results become addictive. A weird side benefit is you’ll learn to be more honest when delivering negative feedback and the recipient will respond better to the message! At worst when your nice and someone treats you rudely or fails to help you you really can decide they are a nob with a justifiable basis. It’ll give you something to draw at your next brain storming session….